At the beginning of a New Year we all make New Years Resolutions, but we always seem to last what... a few hours... a day... a week...
This year I decided that instead of making a New Years Resolution, I was going to make a fresh commitment to God, to where I would rely completely on him and that I would look to him in my times of need so that I could be strengthened and renewed in him. My hearts desire is to serve God with all of my heart and become the person that God wants me to be. I can remember a few years ago we were asked at gLo to come up with a definition of Love and the group I was in came up with "Love is the expression of our selfless faith, imitating Jesus, by putting others first just like He did on the cross". Ever since then this has been the way I have wanted to live my life, living my life the way that Jesus lived his, by putting others first and showing them love by spending time with them and whatever else is required of me.
I realised that for years I had been hiding all the hurts that were caused because of family and friends to be hidden away from God and I was trying to work it all out on my own and not allow God in to help me. I had also been running away from God in these situations which left me in an extremely hard position as I didnt know who I could turn to or where I could turn to, which left me in a dark place, lost and helpless. At the minute, I have realised that I need to let all my hurts come up out of the hidden places in my heart and allow God to work through them one at a time. I remember a recent louder event where Andy McCourt was talking and he spoke about this and ever since then this has really stuck in my heart and in my mind, as this was God teaching me to let go of the hurts that I was clinging unto in my heart, that were just bringing destruction into my life.
I remember being told by someone that You may not be in the place that you should be, but you should be thankful to God that you are not in the place that you used to be. This has made me think about how about how in my situation now, although I am far from perfect that God can still use me just as I am, where I am. I may never be perfect or be in the correct place all the time, but I know that God is willing to come and meet me at my very need, even if that need is in the darkest pit. I have slowly learnt that God doesn't want to be pushed aside in my life or as a matter of fact he doesn't want pushed aside in anyone elses life. He wants to come in and help you. In 1 Peter chapter 5v7 we read "Cast all your anxieties on Him because He cares for you" and this just makes me think now, why would I not want to tell God what is hurting me or what is going on, as He is a Mighty and All powerful God and He is able to make things change, maybe not in the ways that we want or expect, but in the ways that are according to his plans and his purposes. As a song by Jesus Culture says "you make all things work together for my good". So maybe at the time when you are experiencing the hurt and the pain and you cant see what good could ever come out of it, maybe it is time that we begin to trust God more. I look back over the times when I was at my lowest and didnt see where there would ever be hope again, I now realise the God of all Hope never left my side even though it felt like I was on my own, or I felt like I was running away from Him. I also realise that now God has made me a stronger person through these trials and tribulations. Through this, it has allowed me to be involved in some amazing teams last summer where I was able to grow, share my faith and even step out of my comfort zone when working with children. These experiences also changed my views on kids work and stepped them up into a whole new level for me, and it makes me excited as I know that God has so much more in store and that He will reveal this in His precious timing.
I encourage you as a fellow brother or sister in Christ, if you have hurt embedded in your heart which has been taking over your life as you haven't handed it over to God, I encourage you to cry out to God and let him take this hurt away from you. As it says in Galatians 5v22-23 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." and if we are followers of Christ these fruits should be overflowing in our lives and God wants to see you happy and full of joy.
Maybe some of the hurts we have embedded in our hearts also require us to do some forgiving. A quote I was read says "Forgiving your enemies doesn't help them; it helps you." And sometimes the best thing for us is to be selfless and forgive others as things are never easy, but why should we not just forgive so that we can be free from that burden that lies upon our hearts. God doesn't want His precious children to be burdened down with hurts and anxieties. He wants us to have free hearts where He can overwhelm us and change and transform us to the people he wants you to be. Will you let Him change and transform your life in 2013?
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